Less than five years ago, I smoked pot each day, had no direction, and lived in a nasty little 400 square foot apartment. My dating life was non-existent and so was my confidence. That’s the truth, even though I’m not proud of it. Now, I wont brag outright about “how great my life is today,” but I will say this: my life has improved. And the reason why is because I’ve structured my life to help me both succeed and feel fulfillment — with habits.
This article will begin with the 12 habits I track each weekday. It’s my hope that by revealing my 12 habits I perform (and track) each day, you will get some inspiration (and hopefully some concrete ideas) about new habits you’d like to ingrain into your life. Ingraining these habits will make you more attractive, confident, and successful.
Then, after I reveal my current 12 habits, I’ll discuss the four old habits I’m not tracking anymore, and the reasons why I’ve let those old habits go. This will equip you with even more ideas (16 in total). Lastly, I’ll reveal four keys you can follow to begin improving your life with habits. You’ll uncover specific strategies I wish I’d known when I began looking to improve my life…
Before we dive in, I sincerely hope this article impacts you to take action. Taking action on these concepts will transform your dating life, your confidence, and your success. Here’s why. As Aristotle wrote thousands of years ago, “Excellence is not an act, but a habit.” It was his wisdom that profoundly struck me — and changed my life. I’ve since discovered he’s completely correct — when you ingrain excellent habits into your day-to-day life, excellent results (and an excellent life) become automatic byproducts.
It’s like the old cliche about a restaurant — the food is only as good as the ingredients available to the cooks. It’s the same with your habits (or lack of them). Building excellent habits forces you to become excellent. And here’s what’s equally true…
Your life can only be as good as your habits.
Luckily, this post has everything you need to unlock a better life as a man — by ingraining better habits. Note that the real secret to success here, and I’ve already alluded to it, is tracking your habits. The image below these words is actually my own dailyl habit tracker…
(Note the W = win. Also note that the orange, red, and yellow colors over Friday, Saturday, and Sunday is a personal coding system I use — to signify that I’m not tracking all the 12 habits for those days. You’ll see the total daily score, on the right hand side, is less than “out of 12” for those days).
I recommend you make a habit tracker for yourself in excel, or in a google doc, after you finish reading this article.
Here’s why: without a place to track my habits, I can assure you I’d never have succeeded in my quest to build a better life — by ingraining better habits.
There’s something to be said for tracking your habits each day. Putting that big W (W = win) in each column once you knock out the habit for that day. It’s an invigorating feeling — and one you control!
Today, I wouldn’t trade the satisfaction of writing a “W” under each daily habit for anything. But enough about me. Let’s dive into the first 12 habits you can consider ingraining into your life…
Here are the 12 habits I track each weekday:
1) Wake Up Before 6am
My alarm clock is set for 5:45am each Monday thru Friday. It’s set on a recurring, week to week setting, which means I know it’s going to wake me up each morning. This is nice. Not having to “set an alarm” each night automates the wakeup process — which is a big part of making an early morning wakeup a new habit.
Regarding the waking up itself, I ALWAYS get up when that first alarm goes off. I NEVER allow myself to hit the snooze button. The reason’s simple: I’ve found doing so eats at my discipline. If I hit the snooze button once, I’ve found I’ll end up sleeping in until 9am. (I’m not joking).
Though the first few seconds can be tough, I love getting up early because personally, I’m my most productive in the early morning. Also, waking up at the same time optimizes your circadian rhythm. But to be honest, I don’t pop upfrom bed because of “circadian rhythm optimization.”
I get out of bed excitedly at 5:45am because 1) I’ve engineered a day-to-day life I love for myself, 2) I get to do what I love doing for a living, and 3) I’m stoked to enjoy that cup of coffee that’s coming right after I knock out the second habit of my day…
2) Three Minutes of Shadow Boxing (5:50am)
By immediately jumping out of bed and shadow boxing, I instantly wake up, get a quick HIIT (high intensity interval training) workout in, get my blood flowing, and activate healthy chemical reactions like increases in adrenaline, endorphins, etc.
I put a timer on, and shadow box my ass off, until the timer beeps after 3 minutes. This is the only time of the day where I’m currently using a timer to track something.
3) Kegels (5:55am – 6:05am)
A “kegel” is an exercise where you essentially clench the “PC” muscle — which is the same muscle that helps you “last” during sex.. Strengthening this muscle will improve your sexual performance and satisfaction — and kegels keep the prostate strong, too.
I usually do these exercises for about 10 minutes each morning, while drinking a cup of coffee, as I review my daily calendar and the KPI’s (key performance indicators) for my business.
4) Morning Meditation (6:05am – 6:15am)
I’ve actually stopped timing my meditations, but I aim to meditate approximately 10 minutes each morning. The benefits of a morning meditation, personally, are profound. I usually get my best idea(s) of the day during this time (or during my other daily meditation each evening).
Furthermore, meditating each morning has this calming effect on me that I feel throughout my day. With a morning meditation, I notice I’m less reactive to business challenges, unexpected stressors, and yes — women.
Ps – for help on getting started with meditation, bookmark this guide.
5) Daily Episode (6:15am – 7:00am)
As you know if you’re a member, each Monday thru Friday, there’s a new episode inside of Dominate as a Single Man. I create the new episode, then publish, that episode just after my morning meditation.
Recording the daily episodes at the same time, and just after the morning ritual I go through, helps me create my best content. For you, consider what the most important task of your day is. Once you discover what that is, I recommend doing that thing FIRST thing in the morning — just after your morning ritual.
Gary Keller wrote about this in his book, “The One Thing,” (which I recommend you read).
6) Hustle & Focus (Usually around 7:00am – 5:00pm)
This isn’t *exactly* a habit, I know. However, I track whether or not I feel I truly hustled and focused each day as I build and grow my two businesses. It’s my way of keeping myself accountable to perform at the highest level possible.
Each day, I usually have 3 to 4 big action items I intend to accomplish. Though sometimes, there’s only one action item that requires a full day of work to achieve. Either way, I expect myself to truly focus, zone out distractions, and hustle.
The actions I take here are usually a mix of writing, doing marketing, and optimizing sales pages within my two businesses — peakunderpressure.com and stepbystepconfidenceformen.com.
Furthermore, the writing portion of my day is always scheduled in first thing, right after the daily episode creation. The reason for this is simple: I aim to become a NYT Best Selling Author before I’m 30 years old. Writing each morning is how I’m “practicing my craft” and “earning the right” to hopefully achieve that goal.
7) Gym (Usually around 5:00pm – 6:00pm)
I love hitting the gym hard, pushing my body to exceed it’s old physical limits, and seeing the physical results that consistently working hard in the gym creates.
Banging out an intense gym session is the best way I know of — for releasing stress in a healthy, beneficial way. Furthermore, the social benefits of being in the gym each day are awesome.
I actually met the girl I’m dating right now in the gym. Likewise, hitting the gym each day, especially if you go to a smaller, more intimate gym, is an excellent place to build and develop a social circle.
8) Under 2000 Calories
I know, this isn’t really a “habit” either. However, your daily caloric intake becomes something a habit over time — which is why fat people usually stay fat and thin people usually remain thin. Personally, I absolutely track whether or not I consumed under 2000 calories.
Mastering my diet ensures my mind stays sharp, keeps me lean, and ALSO helps me perform in the gym. If you’re curious, my 2000 calorie diet is achieved using a combination of an intermittent fasting (IF) and a keto diet, for reasons I discuss here. By the way, this “combination diet,” where you mix IF and keto, is awesome for boosting testosterone.
In my opinion, taking control of your diet is a must if you’re looking to master your emotions, your psychology, and your life. The old cliche “you are what you eat” is being proven to be surprisingly true. This is either a blessing or a curse — depending on whether or not you’ve mastered your diet. I choose to make my diet a secret weapon.
9) Learn (Usually around 7:00pm – 8:00pm)
Did I read something (like one of my five favorite all time books), watch something, or otherwise consume something that will help me in the future? That’s what I’m tracking here.
Usually, I read for about 30 minutes a day and consume some form of training program for 30 minutes a day. I’ve always believed that “what you put in” equals “what you get out,” as you’ve seen having just read my 8th habit regarding diet. It’s why I’ve also religiously tracked whether or not I’ve learned something each day, for two years now.
There’s no doubt that I’ve been able to transform myself from the laughingstock of my hometown into the #1 trainer for single men — in 7 years — because I’ve “stood on the shoulders of giants” and uncovered the wisdom of the best authors, teachers, leaders, and trainers of all time.
I never underestimate the power of a life-changing book, program, seminar, speech or course.
This is the only one of my 12 habits that’s red. A red habit means, if I don’t complete it, I’ll give myself a score of a zero for the whole day. Ouch! I’ve made this a “red” habit because until recently, I would drink beers one day each weekend.
And, for reasons I explain in detail inside my membership, I realized having a “beer drinking Sunday” was having a negative effect on my happiness, confidence, and productivity.
So, since I’ve become aware of this, I’ve made sobriety a 7 day a week habit to track. I’m about 2 weeks into ingraining this new “24/7 habit.” To be honest, it feels AMAZING to be sober all day, every day, at all times.
I though cutting out the occasional joint and a few beers on a Saturday evening would compromise my happiness. But, I’ve been proven wrong. I’m happier, and I feel better, than ever.
11) Evening Meditation (9:30 – 9:45pm)
Meditation is a game-changer. I notice that a quick (approx. 15 minute) meditation each evening helps me fall asleep much faster.
To add onto this, before I meditate each night, I straighten up my apartment, turn off my electric devices, and turn off all the lights. Doing these things help both my eyes and my brain get ready for sleep.
Having a evening routine is paramount for ensuring you’re able to dominate your career each day of the week. Without a way to begin “shutting down” and preparing for a good night’s rest each evening — you’re setting yourself up to fail the following day.
Without a clear nighttime ritual, you’re more likely to stay up way to late. You’ll toss and turn in your bed, unable to fall asleep. Or, you’ll stay up till the wee hours of the morning — watching too many Netflix shows. (Note that if you are going to ever watch Netflix, I’d recommend watching these four shows — for men looking for more dates, confidence, and success).
Nevertheless, you know this feeling — where you can’t fall asleep. And it sucks. Meditating each night before bed might be the answer if you’ve been struggling to get to sleep.
12) In Bed By 10PM
Getting to bed at the same hour each day is just as important as getting up at the same time. Without this, my days quickly become less productive, because I’ll feel tired on a lack of sleep and my mind can’t function as well. So, I ensure I always get into bed before 10pm.
Furthermore, I make sure my phone is on “airplane mode,” and I put it on the other side of my bedroom, so that I can’t check it during the night, and also because having my phone on the other side of the room means I have to get out of bed to turn of the alarm each morning — which ensures I don’t hit the “snooze” button!
Last note: I believe keeping your phone right next to your bed is a HUGE mistake, and I’d recommend making that simple change I just described above ASAP if you want to 1) sleep better, 2) not send dumb “midnight texts” to women, and 3) actually get up when you want to the following morning.
Notable exceptions from my habit tracker:
1) Cold Approach
It’s true: I’m no longer tracking, nor doing, daily cold approaches. Funny enough, I don’t miss it. The reason’s simple: I’ve met a girl and right now, I’m playing around with this whole “actually dating somebody exclusively” thing. So far, it’s going really well.
From now on, I’m only taking on 1-on-1 clients who want to build confidence and dominate life. Furthermore, no longer am I focused on regularly creating public dating content. That’s stuff’s already been created. Just dig through the archives of my blog.
In short, being in peak “pickup mode” is no longer important to me, either professional nor personally.
As those of you who’ve worked closely with me know, I’m a huge fan of visualization (only when you’re also simultaneously taking action, that is!).
I’ll likely work in visualization into my daily routine soon — perhaps I’ll start visualizing how it’ll feel to see myself as a NYT Best Selling Author (this is my big current goal to hit before my 30th birthday).
We’ll see. But for now, I’m not tracking daily visualization.
3) Goal Reviewing
The truth is, I do review my goal (to become a NYT Best Selling Author) each day. But I don’t “track” doing so directly. Rather, I have my goal written in BIG LETTERS right at the top of my daily habit tracker (you can actually see it above).
This means, I am reviewing my goal each day — because I’m inside my habit tracker you saw above 7 days a week. I’ve found a way to get this one in without having to track it. I suppose if I wanted, I could make this my 13th habit each day.
But for now, I’ll keep things as they are, because things are clicking for me both personally and professionally.
4) Introduce myself to somebody new
I did this back when I’ve moved to new cities — to quickly build a social circle. Furthermore, I used to track this habit back when I was frequenting different seminars, groups, and organizations in my industry — at the start of my career.
This is an excellent habit to track if you’re either looking to grow your network, improve your social skills, or both.
Takeaways for you for building habits:
1) Create your habit tracker and start tracking
Tracking habits has changed my life for the better. Using (and adding to) the habit tracker you saw above, I’ve systematically built myself into a disciplined person who gets shit done.
For you, start building yourself into the man you know you’re capable of becoming. I’d recommend starting with just ONE habit you know would improve your life.
If you’re not sure what habit you should chose, just take a look at the habits you’ve seen here. Pick the one that most resonates with you. Then, start tracking it each day.
2) Build your arsenal of habits slowly over time
Slow and steady does win the race. Habit tracking is all about momentum. So, while I’m not saying that you shouldn’t immediately start tracking multiple habits, what I am saying is this: don’t bite off more than you can chew. The last thing you want to do is set yourself up for failure.
You’re better to pick just one habit, ingrain it deeply by tracking it each day, and then, finally, add a second. This is the slower path to transformation, yes.
However, if you add just one habit a month to your life, in 6 months, you’ll be humming along strong — with the potential to accelerate into a full on beast in the following 6 months.
3) Be willing to change your habits over time
What got you here won’t always get you there. As somebody who’s been religiously tracking my habits for almost two years now, I can tell you that sometimes, removing a habit is the best thing you can do.
Removing my long time habit of doing a daily cold approach is one such example. Had I been unwilling to remove this habit (which wasn’t easy to do because doing cold approach each day for seven years literally transformed both my confidence and my dating life), I’d be setting my current self up for failure.
How could I expect to build a potentially healthy relationship with the woman I like — if I was out meeting women each day? Furthermore, I had to ask myself, “Do you really have time to go out and “pick up a chick” each day, Jason? Especially when you know how to create dating abundance from social circle! Plus — you have two businesses to run!” The answer to this question, I realized, was, “Hell no!”
It’ll be the same with you. Be willing to change or remove any habit that’s no longer serving you, your wants, and your goals.
4) Create habits that move you towards your goals
This is so obvious I almost didn’t even write it. Yet, this is the most important point you’ll read in this entire piece. Building habits that move you towards the goals (and the life) you desire IS how you build an exceptional life.
For me, I want to become the most impactful person in the personal development space for men, in my lifetime. That’s my mission as a man. (If you want help uncovering your mission as a man, click here).
Personally? Everything I’m doing each day is about becoming my very best self as a man. I think you can see that from my 12 habits I’m currently tracking. And this is the “job” of your habits — they should “automatically” make you into the man who’s capable of achieving your dreams, goals, and desires.
My habits have transformed me into a man who’s capable and deserving of becoming the most impactful personal development teacher for men, ever. And as you know, the only way to achieve your goals is to be worthy of achieving them.
Likewise, I’ve concluded that a solid goal to hit, that’ll help me achieve my ultimate aim (to become the greatest of all time in my space) is to become a New York Times Best Selling author by 30. This goal is requiring me to set higher standards for myself, and it’s forcing me to articulate my ideas more clearly as a writer, too.
The clarity of this is goal is why I always schedule in writing each morning in my daily calendar, just after I finish my daily episode. (Remember Gary Keller’s advice about “The One Thing?”).
Obviously, the only way to become an acclaimed writer is to write! Right?
Final Question: what are your goals? What are you trying to achieve in your lifetime?
Only you can know. But once you do, set up your habits to facilitate the achievement of that goal. Funny enough, by setting up the habits instead of simply focusing on the goal, the attainment of your goals becomes more fulfilling, less stressful, and more enjoyable.
That’s what I’ve found at least. Optimizing your habits is the most tactical way I know of for following the very Zen “trust the process” philosophy (which I totally agree with, by the way).
When you build the right habits that move you towards your goals, you create a process worth trusting. Best of all? Doing (and tracking) the right habits each day makes the process towards your goals enjoyable, fulfilling, and if your goals are big enough — transformational.
To your peak,
Ps – Are you a single man who’s ready to transform your confidence, and your life, in 90 days? Learn more here.
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