All right gents, you have asked, now you have it. Let’s discuss how to start a conversation naturally…


Whether it’s that cute girl at a bar, an important person at that networking event or even another badass dude you want to add to your tribe. Whoever it may be, whatever the situation, this article is going to provide you with different ways that you can start a conversation with anyone, naturally, in your day to day (and night) life.


Having an arsenal, or toolkit of ways that you can start a conversation will provide you not only with incredible confidence but is going to help you prosper in your social life, dating life, professional life and every other ‘life’ that you have going on. This is a must read.


Remember, before we dive in, conversation skills is like a muscle and the more you train it, the ‘stronger’ and more automatic, effortless and easy it will become, so you have to consider and  put these into play.


Without further delay, let’s dive in…


#1: Ask an authentic question.

Humans are naturally curious and we always want to know and learn more about things. In your daily life when you come across different people they all have unique traits, appearances, wear different clothes, have a different story and are all, as was stated, different.


Due to the fact that no two people are the same, that means that each person is authentic, even yourself. A key here is to ask the person of interest an authentic question that is related to them. This can include:

Where did you get that bag?

How long have you been doing (x)?

Where did you grow up?

And so on and so forth, endless possibilities.


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Essentially, these are the icebreakers for deeper and more engaging conversation — which can end up in a number swap, date, marriage or even a job opportunity, new career, etc.


So simple and so effective, but the natural way of opening that deeper conversation came from that authentic question. 


2: Giving an authentic compliment.

This is so easy gents. Especially with women that catch your eye, complimenting her on her hair, physique (in an appropriate manner), eyes, clothing and even her laugh or smile can get you massive brownie points in her book. 


Everyone likes compliments.


But the key here is that it is authentic, just like number one, it has to come from a real, true place or it appears fake. It really goes a long way when you consistently give people authentic compliments that you’ll also find yourself in a better mood and be happier throughout your day.



If you are nicer to other people, other people will generally be nice in return. Some people call this ‘karma’ but it is just practical, common sense.


3: Talk about the things you both like.

Have you every heard of that saying ‘birds of the same flock fly together’? Essentially the rhetoric behind this is that people that individuals who have things in common, stick together.


So next time when you are in a conversation with someone, ask authentic questions and you will get authentic answers. Eventually, they might say something that resonates with you or something you like as well like a coffee shop, travel destination, favorite laptop, tv show or anything you can find.



Focus and place emphasis on that as it is a quick and rapid rapport builder. Look for the things you both genuinely or authentically like, and swim in it — very straightforward.


4: Sharing a point of view.

As you can probably identify by know, these tips follow on from one another. So this next one works once you’ve established similar likes/interests. Here, you’re seeing a certain aspect or event in life through a similar lens or as stated, a shared point of view.


This can be through pleasure or pain.


Whether during your conversation you agree on a certain political event or value/belief or even happy that you both have been promoted to a higher-paying job, finding that likeness through a positive note is powerful.


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Flipping the coin, whether during your conversation you complain about the food you ordered is taking too long or you are both stuck in a line for too long, through a negative note, can also build a rapport, as you are both frustrated and are expressing the same emotions, which is important.


5: Flirty banter.

Little things like double-meaning statements, banter, or teasing can work well for you if implemented correctly. By “implemented correctly,” what I mean is you’re wearing your smirk and your tone of voice is playful and nonchalant.


Statements like:

“You are a little troublemaker are you?”

“Who are you trying to impress?”

And lines like that — when said in a light-hearted and relaxed manner — are gold.


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For more on how to sharpen your banter skills, check out this in-depth article.


6: Pattern interrupts.

“Hey, how are you?”

“Good thanks, yourself?”



How many times have you heard that or something on the lines of that? It’s so autopilot and overused in society. Generally with café’s, restaurants, retail stores etc. it is very common. So what do you do?


Break. the. pattern.


“Hey, how are you?”

“Absolutely terrible (with a smile on face), you?”

“Good……wait why’s that?”


The person’s brain is so wired with the default response that you have thrown a plot twist to the interaction. In turn, this causes a deeper interaction fueled on curiosity.


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Playing off the example above?


You could say “I’m joking around” or you can tease and then make up a long story about how you know something really minute insignificant happened and it just totally ruined your day.


But of course you’re saying this tongue in cheek — and by doing so? Eventually the person will be able to tell you’re kidding. Now you guys are on the same team because they get the inside joke, and then, bang.


The other thing you can do as far as pattern interrupts? You can respond to basic questions that people will ask you in conversations with ludicrous responses. For example, when somebody asks how old you are? Say something far off (i.e. I’m 69 years old) with nonchalance and a smirk on your face. This immediately “shakes up the conversational flow” and breaks the other person out of their “bored and logical shell.”


BOOM. That is how you carry out conversation.


And really it’s more how you start a conversation as you can see. You can use all of these different themes to continue a conversation.


You can use any of these methods at any time.


But of course you can equally use these to start the conversation and get the ball rolling which is often the time when guys struggle the most.


So put these things in a play when you’re chatting with people on a daily when you’re interacting and when you’re meeting new girls, meeting new people and chatting with new people. Enjoy and take action.


Until Next Time,

Secret Agent


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