First of all, what is a “shit test” ? A shit test is a challenge or a test a woman will often give you as a man — that allows her to “see what you’re made of.”
Women do this to get a real sense of how reactive you are to her. It’s her way of gauging your core traits as a man. She’s trying to see if she’s legit attracted to you.
How you respond to these inevitable shit tests really does impact whether or not she’s going to become super attracted to you or not. That is the truth. Luckily, you’re about to learn EXACTLY how to pass “shit tests” with an A+ anytime you ever receive one! Sound good?
Now, I don’t want to “suger-coat” this topic. Because the truth is if you respond to her “tests” like most guys do? You’ll flunk, she’ll lose interest, and she’ll leave you and go searching for a more dominant man to be with.
Luckily, there’s no need to fret, my masculine friend. Here’s why: when you respond to shit-tests in the way I’m about to reveal for you here? Fireworks, baby!
You’ll become the attractive man she’s been waiting for. And then? She’ll start chasing you — almost guaranteed. 😉
Now, before we dive into how to respond to shit tests, let’s start with the basics. What do shit tests look like? Here’s a few general examples (we’ll go way deeper in a minute, but first, let’s start with some “broad strokes”…
- She may tease you about something you said…
- Perhaps she’ll ask why you did something…
- Or she’ll ask you to explain yourself regarding a potentially touchy or vulnerable situation you’re in (i.e. employment or living situation)
You can think of a shit test like the most difficult part of the job interview — except in dating terms.
So, how do you respond to a shit test? Luckily, it’s actually much simpler than how you’d respond in a job interview.
Because while in a job interview you need to respond with something that shows your qualification for the job, because a job interview is a LOGICAL process, dating is an EMOTIONAL process, meaning it’s not what you say, but HOW you say it… 😉
When a woman gives you a shit test, even though she’ll NEVER verbalize what I’m about to tell you (or even admit it most likely)…
Deep down, she’s not looking to see what you’re going to say. But rather, she’s in tune with how you’re going to say it. Meaning — do you get emotional? Or, do you stay relaxed and playful and nonchalant?
She wants to see how comfortable you remain when she cranks up the “heat.” And, if you act as if everything’s sunshine and roses when she does try to test you, and if you remain non-reactive, trust me — she’s going to get more turned on!
On the contrary, if you get emotional or “butthurt” when she starts teasing you, asking you difficult questions, or when she otherwise tests you — you’ll fail immediately!
Yes, the FASTEST way (and really, the only way) to FAIL a shit test is by GETTING EMOTIONAL.
If you allow her teasing comment, difficult question, or backhanded comment to affect your emotional state, you’ve lost. Simple as that. Luckily, the way you “pass” a shit test is equally simple.
Just don’t get emotional. Or more specifically, don’t show your emotion.
Remember this epic hack: all you gotta do is stay calm and “chill.”
For example, if you live at home, and she asks you about it, just say, “Oh, I live under a bridge.”
See how that response is chill, playful, nonchalant, and relaxed? A response like this, to a potentially difficult question (where you live), is the perfect answer — especially if you’re not super proud of where you live.
Funny enough, if you do have a luxury apartment, joking at first that you live under a bridge is (surprisingly) more effective than immediately bragging about the penthouse you own.
Women love men who make them laugh, tease them playfully, and who don’t take them seriously. So, if you do have money, accolades, or success, don’t try to brag by stating your accomplishments right away!
Let her figure out your accomplishments and successes organically.
Make her “earn” the right to know the depth of your accomplishments, achievements, and possessions. Never go into “interview mode” and start listing off your acheivements.
“Oh yea, I drive a BMW. I was named Junior Partner at age 29, and I went to Yale Law…” NO!!! This “look at what I’ve done” behavior comes off as “needy” and “try hard!”
Doing this will send her running for the hills!
Furthermore, as you’ll see when you start teasing women like this when they test you, by bantering back by saying that you live under a bridge, she’ll actually assume that since you had the confidence to say a joke like that, that you actually do indeed have a luxury apartment. 😉
It’s weird, but downplaying your achievements is how you actually “brag” without having to brag in a “look at me” way! By bragging in this “reverse psychology” sort of way, you’re showing her your life is going great, instead of telling her directly.
Remember how in 7th grade English class, the teacher told you to “show, not tell?” Well, here this advice is actually useful.
But the real key is this: You do NOT want to start “jumping through her hoops” in attempts to “pass her tests” when she starts asking you “real” questions.
That is how you lose. Because when you think about it, the only reason you’d start “jumping through her hoops” by explaining yourself is because you were AFRAID that if you answered wrong, you’d lose the girl.
Remember this: you cannot attract women with a scarcity, fear based mindset. You most adopt a “no-fucks given” mindset. 😉
Staying calm, nonchalant, and playful shows you don’t need her to like you. Strangely, this is precisely what turns women on.
Act the same way no matter what. Whether you’re bit insecure deep down about something she asked? Or, if you’re hyper-confident deep down about the question she asked you? Stay relaxed either way. And it’s easy to do once you realize you NEVER EVER need to go deep with a woman until she’s earned that right by proving herself to be a high quality woman you’d actually consider dating long term.
In the short and medium term, wearing your poker face — and not really letting her into your “deeper world” right away — makes you mysterious, interesting, and exciting. Which is exactly what you want to do in the beginning and intermetiate stages when getting to know a woman.
By not divulging much, she’ll start asking you more questions — and this in turn makes her begin chasing you!
Here’s the thing…
Your insecurities? They’re yours to deal with. Not hers!
Never feel ANY pressure to share parts of yourself (or your life) that you don’t want — especially when you’re first dating her.
Again — you don’t owe her SHIT until she’s passed YOUR tests. This means, she’s proven she’s not just after you for your money. It means she’s shown you she’s funny, smart, and intelligent.
Until she’s displayed herself as a high quality “5 star” caliber woman? You can stay playful, keep your cards close, and give her only little hints as to the depth of your character (both the good and the bad) — whenever she asks you deeper questions, tests you, or otherwise “probes you” with interview like questions.
It’s not her job to find out your insecurities, know your “deepest darkest secrets,” or see you squirm — when you’re first dating her! Regardless of how persuasive she tries to be, remember this: she’s not your damned wife!
And she’s not a damned auditor, either! So don’t sweat it when she comes in to “investigate.” She can’t sue you! Stay relaxed. And DEFINITELY DO NOT hand over all your “secret files”
You literally don’t have to answer any question she asks you. Rather, just wear a smirk, and joke around. And, if you’re not the “humorous” type, that’s okay too.
You don’t need witty banter lines to master shit tests. Hell no!
In this case, simply stay silent (as if you were the Godfather) when she starts trying to test you or when she asks you questions you’re not ready to answer.
Or, after she asks you for example, what part of town you live in, you can simply say, “Oh I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”
Short, sweet, and effective.
Or, when she asks you “how many girls have you been with?” If you want to answer with the truth, you can. Or, if you don’t want to, just say, “What a great question. Which reminds me, how many guys have you been with?”
This is a simple “flipping the script” technique that you can use whenever a woman probes deep, by asking a question that’s a little “too incisive.” You just repeat what she asked you — and throw the question back into her court. When you do this, wear a wry little “nice try” smirk, for added effect. 😉
Here are more strategies and examples (that work for less outgoing guys):
If she asks you what part of town you live in (which is an indirect way of understanding how successful you are), you could also banter back and tease her by saying, “You’d like to know, wouldn’t you. I knew it. You’re a stalker…”
Here’s another example of how to respond to “shit tests.” (This one works great for guys who aren’t super outgoing and charismatic).
If she asks why you work in the career you do, you can stay aloof, act as if you didn’t even register her question (which works great), and pivot the thread of conversation.
This one is an excellent way to display your confidence. By simply acting as if she never even asked you the question, you show your power and your lack of need for her approval.
A TV show character that always does this in the show (you can watch the show for more examples of how to use this strategy) is Thomas Shelby from Peaky Blinders. This blog post reveals his most confident and charismatic traits — and his “I don’t even register questions I don’t want to answer” strategy is one of his most useful social skills to study.
Furthermore, if you do want to be direct in response to her question, explain yourself simply and succinctly. Direct honesty is yet another way to disarm a shit test — especially when your mind goes blank.
Just remember, as long as you don’t get emotional, you’re A-okay.
The name of the game, ultimately, is again, about not displaying any negative emotions nor insecurities (especially if you’re trying to unlock a “friends with benefits” relationship or a casual sexual relationship.
Here’s what you don’t want to do (especially, again, if you’re looking for a hookup).
“Well, yea my career sucks now… …and I really wish it were different…. But this happened… And that happened… and what’s why things aren’t going as well as I’d hoped… But soon, I’ll be making more money…”
NEVER qualify yourself.
By the way, “qualifying yourself” means you’re trying to “prove” your value or your worth to the girl by explaining yourself. Doing this sub-communicates that you see her as the superior, and that you’re the inferior person of the two, why’s trying to win her over. Ouch.
Qualifying yourself in any way is dangerous frame to enter — and doing so will often turn the girl off. The reason is simple: only a guy who saw himself as “lower value” than the woman he’s talking to would qualify himself.
Rather, if she asks you a difficult question — that deep down you’re not looking to discuss — just change the topic or playfully over-exaggerate the situation.
Here are more examples:
If she asks you what you do for a living, just say… “I’m completely broke. Yup. I live under a bridge.”
If she insists on knowing what you do, you can either hold to that silly frame you made up, or, you can keep on teasing her. Perhaps you could say…
“Okay fine, you caught me. I work as a garbage man.”
If she asks where you live, you can simply say, “So, what’s your favorite thing to do?”
Or, you can say, “I live in a replica of the White House with Abraham Lincoln’s great-granddaughter.”
Or, when she asks you where you actually live, then you could say, “Okay fine, I live in Central Park, but don’t tell anyone.” If she insists, then just tease her for being a serial-murderer. “I’d never tell you where I live — you’d probably just try to hunt me down, kill me, and sell my organs on the black market…”
See — when a woman shit-tests you, you can flip the script by just staying relaxed and responding playfully with completely absurd answers. This is yet another way to display your dominance, your high value, and your playfulness.
Indeed, responding to shit tests with absurd answers works great.
For example, when she asks if you like working out, whether you workout or not, you could say, “Absolutely, I work out every day by hitting the bowling alley. Oh yea. Bowling is my favorite thing to do. It’s why I’m soooOoooo jacked.”
For the record, I’ve tested all of these “crazy” responses. And guess what? Women actually LOVE it when you say these seemingly “bad” or “crazy” things about yourself. Here’s why: these types of statements are clearly absurd and not true.
Trust me, she’ll quickly get if you wear a smirk and state these silly lines with a playfulness in your voice. Messing around like this, and not taking her little “games” and “tests” shows her you’re a cool, confident guy. This IS what she wants.
Never forget: it’s not what you say, but what emotional state you’re sub-communicating through.
Just check out this graph, which comes from research published at U.C.L.A. You’ll notice that “spoken words” only account for 7% of personal communication…
Expressing yourself with that lighthearted indifference IS the secret to success with women. The reason’s simple: when you’re lighthearted, your body language, tone of voice, AND your spoken words ALL communicate your confident playfulness. In turn, communicating in this way makes women like you.
This applies at all times — not just when she “shit tests you.” Although a shit test directly checks your ability to flex this muscle.
See, in each of these examples, you’re making light of whatever it is the woman is trying to make you uncomfortable about.
Again — no explanation needed. No jumping thru her hoops.
And here’s the coolest part. When you get this down cold? And master the art of staying non-reactive when she hits you with shit tests?
She actually gets turned on when you DON’T react to her questions and tests.
Trust me… I speak from experience.
So, try out this new way of responding to women’s shit tests, challenges, questions, and any other “test” she throws at you.
Also practice staying light-hearted and indifferent when women cancel plans on you — especially at the last minute. Because as I explained here, often, if you stay relaxed and indifferent when a woman flakes an hour before a date? She’ll actually flip BACK to meeting up with you.
This is another form of a shit test. And by “playfully not giving a fuck” that she cancels or not, she’ll suddenly REALLY want to meet up. It’s ridiculous, and it’s true.
The golden rule is this: the less you react emotionally to women, the more you make her react to you. Doing this IS the secret to attracting women to you like honey attracts bees 😉
Try this. You’ll get results. I pinky promise.
Now, do you still have questions?
Or, if you’d like even more real examples of how exactly to respond to shit tests, I’ve gotcha covered, señor 😉
Check out the newest video about shit tests I made for you…
Now, I want to hear from you. What was your #1 takeaway from everything you’ve learned on shit tests?
Reply in the comments below.
To your peak,
GET REAL CONFIDENCE WITH WOMEN THIS WEEK!
Behold, the #1 first date mistake countless guys make every single freakin’ day! Whatever you do, don’t make this first date mistake!
“The biggest challenge for me is simply just having the balls to go up to a girl and start a conversation and knowing what to say…”
Just like that, I met a girl I’m kinda crazy about. For the first time in 7 years, I’m not actively “dogging.” I’ll be honest: it’s weird, but I like it…