The only rejection is not taking action, so when you simply talk to a girl, consider that a win.
Talking to girls, or ‘cold approach’ is a numbers game, just like making sales calls, interviewing, or making bank presentations — to get that first loan for your start-up. This means that by definition, you will succeed in some and you will get rejected in some when you’re approaching a lot of women.
The fastest way to succeed is to get some rejections under your belt!
The key mental reframe that guys have to make is from the thought that if they take action and get rejected once, that they won’t have the motivation or drive to keep taking action, instead they struggle and ‘lick their wounds’.
The big blow for guys is that they are often so needy of a “yes,” that a rejection from a girl will crush them — and keep them from meeting other women for a long period.
Here’s the thing: just because a girl rejected you, doesn’t mean it’s your fault. Maybe she has a boyfriend, perhaps she’s busy with other things, or you know what? Maybe she didn’t like your approach.
Let me repeat that one more time.
A girl can reject you based on your approach, regardless of your looks, personality, physical appearance, etc. What this means? Cold approach is a skill! The more you do it, the better you get!
But no matter where you are on the continuum (from rookie to advanced), a girl can reject you for nothing other than HOW you approached her. It’s in her power to do so.
So maybe it’s a matter of coming up with a different angle with your approach, maybe it might be with the same girl or in a different situation, like a party, for instance, that things could have gone better. Who knows! And really, who cares?
Just go meet another cutie! Fill up your “pipeline!” Get into such a massive state of dating abundance that you don’t care about individual outcomes! This is the surest way to not care at all about rejection!
Another solution is to re-frame rejection as part of the process towards (dating) success. Using the confidence building sequence will help a lot, as this 3-step sequence teaches you to trust the process as you build up your “cold approach skillset,” whilst simultaneously filling up your phone with lots and lots of phone numbers.
Think of approaching women as a continual process, rather than several one-off interactions.
Finally, it just shows how important it is to do cold approach multiple times a week, rather than one or two a week. It’s a volume game! This is powerful as it prevents you from the ‘self-bashing’ negative thought that makes you dwell and never get back in the game.
Remember, if you get rejected a thousand times, for example, it will get rid of the pain for all of them. It’s an interesting paradox.
Until next time,
PS – what’s been your biggest takeaway from this report? Share in the comments box below…
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