When you first begin dating a woman, she’s trying to get a sense of who you are. She wants to figure out what you’re made of. Sure, you know how to hold yourself confidently… And you make have a few witty lines up your sleeve.
But are you calm and confident in your own skin?
That’s what a woman wants to know when you two are first dating. She wants to see if you own who you are. Or, if you’re embarrassed about something.
So, she tests you. She may challenge you about your career or your sexual intentions. Maybe she’ll act flirtatiously towards another man and see how needy you act.
In whatever case, your job here when the woman tests you is simple. You want to simply focus on doing these two things:
#1) Stay Nonchalant When She Gives You a “Shit Test”
This means you keep a calmness and a composure to you. When you talk, your voice shouldn’t start raising in pitch to that of a 9 year old girl. Your veins shouldn’t start popping out of your neck.
You shouldn’t freak out or insult her for challenging you. No way Jose! That type of response is the last thing you want.
Instead, you want to maintain a calm demeanor. And then, perhaps after taking a deep breath to chill yourself out, respond to her “test” nonchalantly.
I’ll share a secret for more easily staying nonchalant in a minute…
But before we continue… Remember: if this is a woman you’ve just begun dating, there’s no need to get flustered if things don’t workout between the two of you!
There’s billions of women on this planet. No need to fret if one of them finds something she doesn’t like about you. That’s something to keep in mind. Maintain a mindset of abundance. If you met this woman, then you can meet lots of other women who catch your eye, too.
Key #1 is to stay nonchalant. And the more you talk to women, the more easy embodying this trait will become! But nonchalance alone can still get you in trouble if you do what countless guys do…
#2) Tell the Truth When She Gives You a “Shit Test”
We’ve all heard a story from a guy who tried to lie his way into a woman’s pants. And maybe he even pulled it off. But at the end of the day, trying to lie your way around a woman’s questions only leads to long term problems.
Instead, see the whole thing from a new lens: When a woman challenges you, it’s your chance to show her the truth about who you are.
Embrace who you are; embrace your current place in the world! And, embrace your intentions with her. Share the truth with your sense of calmness and nonchalance.
To put it simply, when the woman you like asks you a tough question, you want to say the truth! However, there’s one BIG caveat! And here it is: don’t forget to consider HOW you say the truth!
Yes you want to say the truth! But no, you do NOT want to be disrespectful!
Just because there’s a fat lady at the party doesn’t mean you need to tell her she looks fat — even though doing so would be “the truth.”
Do you get what I mean?
Nuanced Tip: Be Aware of How You State the Truth
YES! Be honest. But don’t forget that you can say the truth and embody your core principles and values WITHOUT being an asshole! This is what you want to do.
In the same way that you don’t want to offend a fat woman by going out your way to tell her she’s fat, you want to say the truth to a woman in a way that doesn’t directly bash the woman’s self esteem.
When you do this correctly – and say the truth without being rude or belligerent – you’re portraying confidence. And you’re also portraying your social calibration! When combined, these traits make you attractive!
You’re showing her that whatever she gives you cannot overwhelm you. And that’s exactly what she wants. She wants a dude who stands up for himself, who stays calm when others try to pressure him, and embraces who he is.
Saying the truth in a nonchalant way isn’t only how you “pass a shit-test,” but it’s also how you demonstrate your attractiveness and get the woman to begin chasing you! And the best part about sticking to your guns with the truth?
You feel amazing after the fact — no matter what happens.
The combination of staying nonchalant while saying the dayummed truth is a winning formula. And now, I’m going to show you a clip demonstrating what this combination looks like, featuring Hank Moody.
Respond to a Woman’s “Shit Test” like Hank Moody:
That, my friend, is how it’s done my friend… Nonchalance + Truth. That’s how you respond to a shit test from a woman.
But you still may be asking yourself…
Yes, but HOW do I ACTUALLY get myself to stay nonchalant WHILE also telling the truth in a situation like this??
Well, the first answer is simple: practice makes perfect. The more you push your comfort zones and strike up conversations with woman that catch your eye, the more comfortable and confident you’ll be. Practice is the mother of all skill. You know this… 😉
But I have an extra nugget of gold for you, to help you stay cool and calm and nonchalant no matter what happens to you…
Bonus: The Power of Purposeful Direction
It’s simple: when you have a purpose; or a direction; that you’re 100% zoned in on as a man, a woman’s “tests” are hardly going to register on your radar.
When you’re totally focused on your life’s direction, and when your purposeful direction becomes the most important thing in your life, suddenly, everything else becomes secondary.
You’re too focused on your direction to even care about small things. And suddenly, it becomes a whole hell of a lot easier to stay calm and confident and nonchalant in the face of what other guys may perceive as “pressure” from a woman.
This is an incredible place to be.
To help you get to this empowered place faster, I have a killer 60 second video for you.
Boost your confidence by unlocking your direction as a man:
Revealed: How to Get Her to Chase You
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You’ll love this free training. See you in a second…
To your peak,
Double Your Confidence in 5 Days
Just like that, I met a girl I’m kinda crazy about. For the first time in 7 years, I’m not actively “dogging.” I’ll be honest: it’s weird, but I like it…
Imagine the most stunning girl, just standing there alone. “What should I say?” We’ve all been there. The real question becomes; what do you say to women when your mind goes blank? Here’s the truth…
When we were young, we were told to “get along with others.” Well, that advice is all fine and dandy. But only once you ALSO have the ability to say NO.