Why do so many men let life pass by? And why do some men refuse to even take that first step?
Whether it’s approaching that girl, applying for the job, starting that blog, or moving forward with the business plan, so many men let their dreams die as dreams…
As you know, action is a necessary ingredient to achieving success. There’s no substitute for taking action.
Therefore, I want to reveal the three core reasons the men I work with do not take that first step. Consider, if a man can take that first step, he’s not too far away from a breakthrough. Consequently, after revealing each of the three core reasons men do not take action (much less the first step) for you, I’ll then reveal the solution you can use to blast through each obstacle keeping you from dominating.
What follows are the three reasons men don’t take the first step, followed by three solutions to ensure you do!
Problem #1: Men Are Afraid of Failing
Let’s be honest: you and I both have a fear of failing. I mean, who likes failing? I cannot name a single person. And I doubt you can, either.
The core difference between men who dominate versus men who stagnate is that the first group take action despite their discomfort regarding the fear of failing. Whereas the majority of men let their fear of failing overrun their lives, and their dreams.
Luckily, you do NOT need to let your fear of failure keep you from taking the first step necessary towards success.
Solution #1: Accept This Fear of Failure as Part of the Process
Acceptance is where we start. Acceptance is defined in human psychology as a person’s tolerance to the truth, recognizing a difficult or uncomfortable process without trying to change it or protest it. Consider, acceptance is similar in meaning to acquiescence, derived from the Latin acquiēscere (to find rest in). If you’ve read much Stoicism, you’re familiar with the modern english word, acquiescence.
Here’s the blunt translation: you must accept your fear of failure as normal, regular, uncomfortable, and necessary — in order to dominate.
If you wish to succeed, let’s not bullshit ourselves, failure will occur! Recognizing this is the first step!
Most (average) men fear failure more than anything else. This is backwards. The aim is to fear the true roadblock to success most: a lack of action! Not starting, and not taking consistent action, kills far more dreams than failure itself.
Right now, you can (and should) choose to re-imagine your fear of failure, your aversion to it, as well as your level of acceptance, regarding it. See the fear as illogical. Instead, fear the real enemy to your success: a lack of action.
That said, the real key to your breakthrough isn’t just painting a new mental picture regarding your fear of failure.
As I spoke about here, to transform, you need to take action!
More specifically, to legitimately transcend your fear of failure to the point where it no longer holds you back, you must take action in a way where failure (that others can see) is possible.
The best way to destroy your fear of failure fast is to take action — in a realm where others will observe whether or not you win or lose, succeed or fail.
Whether it’s approaching that cute woman, giving a public speech, or applying for that job, social actions like these produce radical change!
When you take action as described, be sure you PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK with positive self talk, immediately after you take action. Regardless of the outcome your actions just produced, tell yourself confidently, “It’s about taking action. Well done!”
As I wrote about in my book Confidence for Men, this act-validate feedback loop, where you take action, then immediately validate yourself with positive self talk, becomes an upwards spiral that soon causes your confidence (and your willingness to take action) to skyrocket.
By taking action, and then rapidly validating yourself with positive self talk each time you do so, you will soon transcend your fear of failure.
As you’ll see visually below, this 1-2 feedback loop is how those initial actions transform you into an action taker!
In fact, repeating this sequence regularly is the secret to feeling amazing — regardless of what happens! Mastering this sequence is the first step towards dominating your life!
When you realize the actions you’re taking 1) were impossible for you to consistently perform in the past, and 2) you are finally moving you towards your vision for the future, it’s hard not to feel amped up — regardless of what happens externally!
Now, let’s discuss the second reason men don’t take action…
Problem #2: Men Are Afraid of Looking Stupid
This is a cousin to the fear of failure. But here, as opposed to defending a core fear of failing, men with this fear are usually more concerned with “looking cool” and maintaining their “suave” image.
Here, the ego, or your conception of self and how you’re perceived, is holding you back. Your ego doesn’t want to “compromise” your cool persona by trying something new.
Furthermore, by taking new actions where the outcome is largely unknown, people may begin responding to you differently.
Combining the discomfort of sacrificing your “cool” persona, the fear that you’ll be treated in a different way than you’re used to — if you take the next step forward because people will see you differently — is what we must overcome.
Therefore, this is where we’ll continue…
Solution #2: Accept You Must Change (and people will see you differently)
If you want to become a man of action who creates radically improved results for yourself, you WILL be required to change. It’s likely that who you are right now is not fully capable of achieving your wildest dreams — yet.
Therefore, you will likely need to improve your mindset, a range of skills, and perhaps even your core group of friends, in order to unlock your fullest vision for the future.
Similar to a fear of failure then, accepting this reality is where we must begin.
If you cannot get your head around the inevitable state of change you will experience as you take action towards your vision for the future, you’ll be weighed down massively.
As the following cliche, albeit true image depicts, actions make changes.
Allow your identity to change. Remember too, people will see you differently.
Here’s a thought experiment: Consider the ultimate conception people will likely have of you — once you achieve your highest vision for yourself. Think of the pride, recognition, and respect your actions will create.
This is the only consideration you should give how others see you: their ultimate perception of who you are — based on the totality of your life’s work.
Be driven by the ultimate prize of dominating your life’s work totally. How others see you in the meantime, during your quest, is simply a mirage. Remember, until your vision — your life’s masterpiece — is complete, the paint is still wet. And you’re still applying new strokes to your life’s work. So who gives a fuck if anyone likes or dislikes your actions, or your end-product, along the way. You’re not done yet.
It’s all about staying focused on both your mission as a man, and the prize(s) you’ll unlock when you accomplish your wildest goals.
Speaking of which, the third reason men don’t take action (or even begin with the first steps) is because they lack this perspective…
Problem #3: Men Aren’t Focused on Their Mission Nor the Prize
How in the hell can you expect to motivate yourself to take action — if you’re not locked in on either a bigger mission and/or the prize(s) available to you — upon accomplishing your goals?
It sounds so fucking simple, but countless men “want” things — yet they’ve never contemplated why they want them. Nor do they focus on their mission or their desires with regularity!
To be clear, the problem here is simply an issue with desire and motivation. If you don’t have a strong desire, how can you expect yourself to take massive action, much less the first step?
I’ll be blunt: whether your aim is to become a billionaire, to make a massive impact on the world, or to travel to exotic beaches with an even more exotic babe beside you, it’s gonna be tough to kickstart yourself into an action taking state without proper motivation!
Luckily, just as it’s easy to see that a burning desire is needed to take massive action, it’s equally obvious how you can increase your motivation…
Solution #3: Clarify Both the Mission and the Prize(s) You’re Aiming For
First, what is your mission as a man? What are you on this planet to accomplish? If you’re not sure, let me put it like this: what would you most like to commit yourself to improving, changing, creating, or optimizing during the core years of your life?
If you’re unsure what your long term mission as a man is, it’s very difficult to stay motivated. Without a clear north star you’re sailing your proverbial ship towards, you’ll constantly lose your way.
Therefore, if you lack a clear mission as a man, refer to this guide here: How to Find Your Mission as a Man (the two paths revealed)
When you take action upon that linked guide above, you’ll be able to uncover your new mission as a man quickly.
So if you don’t clearly know what your purpose, or your mission is, then click that link right now.
I’ll be waiting right here for you… 😉
Did you do that? Excellent.
Now that you have clarity regarding your mission as a man, let’s talk about how to stoke your fire in a way that ensures you DOMINATE due to your incredible desire!
Make a list of all the things you want out of life. Stack this “motivation list” with everything you could possibly desire.
Include material objects, experiences, accomplishments, recognition, fame, social connections, and anything else you could possibly desire.
Essentially, this is your running list of “shit I wanna unlock during my life.”
There’s no limit to how big this list can be. In fact, I recommend you make it as long as possible!
The more things you desire, the more reasons you have to go take actions necessary to unlock the manifestation of these desires!
I recommend you get started on this list right now! Once you have it, review this list each morning as a part of your morning ritual!
To Conclude: Go Take the First Step and Get Busy!
The only way you’re going to supercharge your confidence, your life, and your list of accomplishments — is by taking action.
This is the undisputed first step!
So stop screwing off, and start taking action! 😉
But it’s difficult to take massive action, even with the powerful insights you just uncovered, if you’re lacking in the confidence department…
That’s why I created this for you…
GET REAL CONFIDENCE WITH WOMEN THIS WEEK!
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I’ll see you on the other side…
To your peak,
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